Exciting

So today has been a relatively good day. I worked early this morning and when I got home, I read, watched some tv, ordered in some food, and then finally was able to take a nap. Glorious nap. I woke up after a few hours and checked my computer and there was a message left for me on Skype from Zac :) And it read:
"Hey babe just woke up I promise I'll call you tomorrow miss you like crazy <3 I love you more than you'll ever know." So THAT was awesome :) Pretty much made me super happy. After that, I needed to put my food in the fridge and head to the gas station to pick up a few things, so I walked with one of my roommates and neighbors and when I got back, I saw had a piece of mail and it was addressed to Roxy JACKSON (<-- my future last name!!!) and it totally made my day. I can't wipe the smile off my face when I look at it or think about it. So here's a picture for all to see!

Had to black out my address, due to all the creeps out there, but look at my future name in all its glory!

And now, for the quick rant-y update:

Roommate's boyfriend over again. Staying until THURSDAY, taking an exam Friday, then returning FRIDAY NIGHT or SATURDAY (thankfully, I will be leaving early in the morning Saturday to go home for the weekend) and staying until SUNDAY, at least. Da hell? Also, someone was just in my other bedroom, for God knows why, so now I need to make sure I pack my car up Thursday or Friday right after work so that I can move all of my shit home that I didn't really feel pressured to move home this past weekend. Trying to avoid confrontation. Oh, and the hell is up with all the shit that just got moved into my house with the boyfriend's arrival? Moving in, bitch? Pay rent. BOOM.

Optimistic note: I'm still waiting patiently for my Skype call that I get hopefully in the middle of the night; I really wanna hear from him before my French final exam tomorrow! <3

#missingmymarine

Until next time, fellow bloggers.

Dreams

This will be an on-going sort of thing about the strange, terrifying, and happy dreams I have over the course of time.

Night of April 21-22:
Dreamt that a kid that was in my graduating class (who died almost a year ago) was still alive. He was good friends with Zac, so I called him to tell him that he was still alive but didn't know how, I just knew I saw him. In another part of the dream, my diamond in my engagement ring fell out. But we found it, so it was alright, but it was pretty scary. Also dreamt that my French teacher was calling me and I could not figure out why, then I realized that it was Wednesday and it was 10:22 in the morning, which meant I was already 22 minutes late for my final exam.
Analysis: Not sure why I was dreaming about that kid when I hadn't spoken to him, except when Zac made me go with him to his house when a bunch of people were there (drinking, of course), since the sixth grade. We weren't exactly in the same circle until Zac and I started dating, and even then, I'm still not a part of that whole scene. I hate parties, so yeah. And if I go by what I believe, why would he be visiting my dreams? Why not visit Zac or one of his good friends instead of wasting the energy on me? Strange. Don't know what the loss of and then finding of my diamond means, so moving on to the next part. I have never had a dream that involved missing class or an exam or anything and it makes me nervous. I'm going to be at like 8:00 on Tuesday night, I swear...
Night of April 24-25:
This was the actual night before/morning of my final exam, so I freaked out a little bit. But I had almost the same exact dream about sleeping in for my exam! Only my French professor didn't call me that time. I woke up   late and was trying to decide whether it'd be faster to walk to class or wait for a bus, because depending on when the bus got to my stop, I sometimes wonder if it would have been faster just to walk, even though I already was late. Then I woke up and it was like 7 in the morning, so I set two more alarms to avoid a crisis and went back to sleep.
Analysis: Was I really that concerned about this exam? It's my major, and I'm really good at it, so I don't have to do much in it to catch on and do really well. Was it because I didn't study as much as I thought I should and was worried about failing it in the first place? I wasn't stressed out about it when I was taking it, so it's unlikely. Was it because I subconsciously realized that I'd forgotten my dictionary at my parents' house and since I was actually able to use it, I was feeling the pressure of it? Who knows. I sure don't. Hopefully I did well, despite the lost sleep over worrying about sleeping in. Haha.
Night of May 9-10:
I had a dream about the jackass again. I don't remember a lot, just random scenes. I don't know why, but whoever was driving me dropped me off too soon and Preston was driving by and he picked me up to take me to where I needed to go. I remember looking down at my hands the entire time, I didn't talk to him, I was very uncomfortable and I was playing with my ring, hoping he'd notice it. We reached my destination and I had a bunch of gowns with me, all different colors and styles. I didn't feel like it was a fashion show, but that's the only thing I can think of that it could be. And I don't know if he kissed me or not, I can't remember. But I remember waiting for Zac to show up and save me, knowing all along that he wouldn't because he's gone right now.
Analysis: Why is Preston popping up in my dreams again? I can understand why I felt a little bitter in my dream about Zac not being able to come and help me out of the situation, we'd had an uncomfortable Skype call right before I went to bed. But why is Preston in my dream at all? Is it because I'm that worried about seeing him every time I go home to Ellwood? Is it because I feel like he should know that I'm getting married? Or worried how he'll react when he does find out?
Random Nights in May (I Forget...)
The first dream I had that I forget what day it was was with me and Zac and we were in the heat of the moment. You know, that moment when you're about to get it on and are all over each other but aren't all the way yet. Anyways, he started to enter me with my panties still on and right when we were about to get rid of the obtrusion, his friends started to walk into his barracks room! So awful...
Analysis: I'm not gonna lie, I'm really missing his loving. So I'm pretty sure that's a self-explanatory dream.
The next dream is weird. I don't remember much of it anymore, but it had Zac in it and another friend, whom I haven't heard from since October (well... I just heard from him today, barely, but when I'd had the dream, it had been since October). Anyways, Zac and I were together and our friend came up to me and gave me a great big bear hug, just like the ones I remember and was so fond of. I could practically feel it for real. Also, in that dream, I ended up standing in a doorway and my deceased maternal grandfather walked by. He just looked at me and smiled... it was an amazing visit <3
Analysis: Well, I miss my Zac and my friend dearly, but I'm not sure why my friend popped up all of a sudden. Maybe I somehow knew I was going to see his brother soon or hear from him personally soon? Maybe we'll be meeting up for lunch in the near future? Who knows. I hope I get to see him and talk to him before I move away. If nothing else, I need my grandfather's watch back... which could also be why my grandfather was in my dream. Or, it could be my initial thoughts, which were that he wanted to convey to me that he was happy for me and still investing some time into watching over my life and wanted to let me know he was proud or that he was doing well wherever he is. Maybe he wanted to meet Zac, and this was his only way to do it and he picked a good night to dip into my subconscious because that was one night he was able to meet him. I don't usually consciously think of my grandfather... I mean, I do from time to time, but it's not the longing I feel when I miss Zac, so I'm not sure what prompted the visit. Maybe it was all on him. I'd like to think of it that way... <3

#frustrated

Yes, I understand this isn't Twitter (I don't even have one and yet I'm using their "hash tag swag" or whatever), so hush about the title here. Get over it hah. So anyway, this should be short, sweet, and to the point here; just a quick rant. One of my roommates is dating this guy that is a bit of an asshole. When I say "a bit", that's probably the understatement of the year. So we're all watching the Pens game (usually I hide up in my room when he's around... I can't stand it) and we were talking about how it was a "quiet" weekend for Pitt students because there weren't any bomb threats on Saturday night or Sunday and I said "It was nice to be able to sleep through the night without any texts from Pitt!" and everyone else laughed. And he tells me "You should turn your phone off." Now, I let ignorant comments slide, but my friend said something to him, he responded that it wasn't good for me to be waking up in the middle of the night all the time. To which I responded "Well, when your fiance is deployed, we'll talk." Long pause aaaaaaand his response? "Hm nope."
His pompous attitude already pisses me off, but to put ignorance on top of it? Looks like I'm back to staying in the confines of my bedroom while he's here. Thank goodness the semester's almost over and he won't be here ALL THE TIME anymore and probably when he's here, it'll be the weekends, which will be when I'm GONE. Can't wait to move out and spend time with more people that deserve what time I have left in Pennsylvania. Honestly, he's wasting time I could be having with people I'm actually going to miss. I tell you what, though, if he doesn't get the slightest bit more sensitive to what he says to me about my life and how I conduct it, shit's going down because Zac wasn't even on my mind until he said that. Like, does he not get that if there's an emergency, he'd find a way to call me on my phone? And that, unlike him, I don't get to talk to my significant other every goddamn day, let alone see my significant other at least every weekend (but as the semester is coming to an end, it's much more often than just the weekends...), so every second I get to speak to him is precious. Oh, and take fucking note that they're in the same city, state, country, and TIME ZONE. And when I get to hear my friend complain that he hasn't talked to her all day (wah) and that he drinks every weekend instead of talking to her (wahh) or when I hear her complain that he's so damn cranky that he "doesn't get to talk to her all the time and that she should make more time for him." Oh, really, dude. Hope I never see you again after I move back to Ellwood and onto California. Don't you dare show up to my wedding, or you'll see hell break loose :)

And that is my rant. A bit more elaborated than expected, but shit happens. :)

Les Lettres de "Boot Camp"

So I've decided I'd like to type up all of my boot camp letters from Zac on here so that when they start to fade, I will forever have them (and so that I can share the adorable-ness that is my fiance with all of you who read this). Here goes nothing! (BTW I'm going to type his dislexic and regular spelling errors and then translate them in parentheses for clarification :P) (Just another quick BTW I gave up on fixing all of his errors. Either I fixed them entirely towards the middle and end, or I just let them be... mostly, I just fixed them hahaha)
Letter #1:
This one was from the Marine Corps, all he did was address an envelope and write who it was for on the top of it. Essentially, it tells us his address, how to get in contact with his Drill Instructor if we have concerns or questions about his training, and what we are and are not allowed to send to him. That was the first time I'd heard from him in two weeks (they don't allow communication home for the first two weeks of boot camp. They also for got to inform him that he wasn't allowed to contact his girlfriend; only a spouse or parents if there was no legal spouse. I count for nothing in the eyes of the Marine Corps right now...

Letter #2:
This is the first letter that was actually from him :)
Roxy's Eyes Only
This one first lol <3 xoxoxo
20100908 = 09/08/2010
Hey baby,
I'm sorry I didn't call you... I wasn't allwoed (allowed)... I can't take it anymore without you I catch myself halusinating (hallucinating) that you were beside me and I freaked out and cried because I missed you so much... Sorry baby I started it yesterday and I'm finishing it tonight. Well nothin' special happened today, but we get our guns tomarrow (tomorrow) :D... I think about you all the time... but I need a nice picture of you baby. How are you? How's work, how's your life without you (me) in it? 'Cause I'm in a living hell right now and I hate it but the thought of it is (<--he scratched out "thought of it is") when it gets rough down here I think of your beautiful smiling face. It hasn't gone all that bad yet but we meet our new drill instructors Sat. 10th... God I miss you... Pls (please) send me a nice (<-- scratched out "nice") pic(ture) of you baby and also (since I know you've written one) haha send me a letter ASAP <3
Forever and for always Baby,
Zac <3

Letter #3: As if he needed to tell me to hang out with his family. I literally went over there every single day before, after, and in between working my two jobs...
Hey Beautiful,
It's the night of day 5 and I want to come home... I hate being away from you... don't get me wrong I love it here... but right now I'm cryin' prain' to God that you will be safe and... baby I love you so much... I can't wait to settle down with you and have babies and grow old with you. Send mor (<-- crossed out "mor") more pic(ture)s lol :) So I'm getting a new asshole torn every other min(ute) and my life was threaten(e)d today (man I really pissed him off hehe... I thought it was funny ;)) but I love you and always will babe... Mrs. Jackson <3 :* (kissy face) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
Your love,
Zac
P.S. Pls (Please) hang out with Linda while I'm gone, she look(ed) pretty sad when I left. You should comfort each other <3

Letter #4: This letter instantly brought tears to my eyes (just like every other letter I got from him... but for very different reasons :"( ) I still think they held his mail from him longer than everyone else to break him down because I sent a letter every damn day to him to make sure he didn't go a day without receiving mail... they knew how tough he is and needed meaner tactics to break him down...
Dear family and roxy <3,
Well another day has come and gone, getting really home-sick :'( and... well I started to write this yesterday and I got yelled at... oops LOL... but any way I'm a squad leader for now doin' ok, feeling really homesick now... I had a couple tears come out last night thinkin' 'bout you guys and my lovely fiancee <3 And baby if you read this I'm sorry for leaving you I don't ever want to do it again, please send pictures pls (please) mail I'm the only one who hasn't got any mail... Well gotta go love you all so much and miss you so much... Roxy... pls (please) write... I need you to get me through this love.
Sincerely,
Rct, Jackson (<-- scratched out) Zac
^He was so upset :(

Letter #5: I forgot to tell him about my conspiracy theory about his letters... :)
Hey guys + fiancee,
Well I'm stupid because I wrote the wrong return address :( I've been so sad lately during mail call but any way 60 day(s) left until I'm a Marine!! God so much has happened. I got my ass kicked today, I pissed a drill instructor off... won't do that again, o hey baby I hope you sent pics (pictures) :) I miss you so much... I probably have so many letters from you lol I'll write you your own letter next time hehe well lights goin' out gotta go love you all xoxo
With love,
Zac
P.S. Use the return address on this envelope.

Letter #6: By the way, the hot steamy sex session never happened that leave :( boo... And I still haven't heard my song!!
(Inside of a heart) R + Z
To the future Mrs. Jackson, (I love the way that sounds)
I'm sick of this place, my platoon is garbage, no one sounds off (screams) they're all lazy and the Senior drill instructor (the father-like figure, I like him lol) walks around acting like it's his fault that we suck. God I miss you so much and I need you NOW!!! Can't wait to be done with this shit. Come home take you out to Shakespeare's have a nice romantic evening and kiss your body up and down and all around and engage in the most passionate, romantic, hot, steamy sex of the century. I'm talking candles, rose petals, music. Just me and you baby. God I miss you and love you so much I miss texting you before bed. 2 more months, 8 more Fridays 'till I see you. I hope softball is going well. And don't over work yourself baby. And I'm really glad you find time for your friends. Say hi to the Mr. + Mrs. Boots, X, And Ran/the rest of the fam(ily).
1st line to your song
I met this girl 'bout a year ago, way out in Riverside.

Letter #7: This was the week I got two separate letters in one day. Meaning they were in separate envelopes and I was super excited :) Also, I didn't know that there was a family day. He failed to mention that, so I had to ask... :P
Sept. 22
Hey baby,
I just got done reading all the letters. I cried for about 5 mins (minutes) 'cause I miss you so much; but I'm ok now lol I love and miss you so much and yes send pics (pictures) pls (please) and make the letters smell like you lol I won't get maid (made) fun of hehe, anyway it was 107 degrees today and we "drilled" (you'll see that when you come down on family day lol) and I just got chased around the squad bay lmao for laughin' at a joke he told (the drill instructor). There are a lot of good guys in my company, Troy Pope is like my bff now, we get into trouble together all the time. But gotta go babe love you soooo much, told everyone how perfect you are <3
Love ya sexy,
Zac
P.S. Could you ask Linda to send "EAS Myoplex Protein bars" and I'm sending money for my phone bill.

Letter #8:
To the future Mrs. Jackson <3
Sept. 23
Hey babe,
Well today was hell lol... wake up at 4 a.m., run 2 miles, do 3 sets of push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and squats, then we were taught which some people weren't sounding off so we ran more lol this all by 6 a.m. :'( Then we go to class for two hours, I'm tired and fall asleep so I get in trouble for that... ughh God I miss you so much I cry every night 'cause I miss you and I worry about you if anything would happen to you or someone else would step in to your life I wouldn't know what to do with myself... anyway are you comin' down for family day Dec(ember) 2? Well gotta go baby pls (please) write me and send many pictures!... I need you now :(
"Your (You're) Never Gonna Be Alone"
<3
Your love,
Zac

Letter #9: I called him out after I saw him next about the "almost" fight... that almost was added in at the last second knowing I'd get pissed at him if he fought someone.
Hey Beautiful,
You really don't know how much your letters and pics (pictures) (pic (pictures) especially lol) help I sleep with my pillow next to me (cuddling with it) thinkin' I'm holding you :( God do I miss you... but I'm kinda healthy, my knee has been killin' me on the runs and I have a bad cough but still feel good... it's been rainin' down here for the past 3 days and there is a foot and a half of water on the streets. It's completely flooded lol it's really fun... my rack mate Jones, his dad gives him motivation in Latin. I love it I'm slowly learnin' a lil (little) bit of Latin. Well when you get pictures down here everyone wants to share, so everyone in my platoon thinks your (you're) super sexy. I (almost) fought a kid in the bathroom because of it but we're on good terms now. O and yes I do remember plain' my guitar for you and recording it... do you still have that? lol gotta go love you baby write lots
Zac
P.S. I love you lots :) <3

Letter #10: For the record, the game we played in the sand was Othello. Get out of the gutter. And when he wrote "OK I'm back", the handwriting was really light and messier... it was definitely after lights out... oopsies!
October 5, 2010
Hey baby,
Today was an easy day lol swimming and water survival techniques (the water made me think of you <3). Every thing down here reminds me of you, I can't get you off my mind babe. Like when I'm getting "the business" (Tell you 'bout it when you come down) in the sand I think of you, when I went to Erie with you and we played that game in the sand. I think of you at night when I lay down and read the Bible (my bookmark is one of your senior pictures). There is a quote about marriage "The princess how beautiful she is... her gown made of the finest gold thread" that makes me think of you and it makes me feel better. gotta go. OK I'm back, your (you're) lucky I love you because it's after lights out and if I get caught I'm gonna feel pain lmao. But anyway you write so many letters lol I can't get threw (through) them all lol but your going to get a (2 pages) big letter next week lol gotta get some sleep... wish I could sing you to sleep :'(
Love,
Zac
P.S. Pls (Please) tell Linda to send protein bars "EAS Myoplex" pls (please) and thank you (chocolate if they have it and I'm sending money down for my cell bill. Keep Lovin' Me Baby! xoxo Thanks sexy!

Letter #11: "I'm perfectly healthy I swear." Oh, yeah, because I totally believe you... ;) When he said I'd love it down there, I almost reached through my letter to strangle him. I hated EVERYTHING about that place that stole him away :(
Oct. 7, 2010
Baby I'm so sorry you're goin' through this without me (the mom thing) she is the last person I thought would do that, besides you lol <3. Keep strong baby I wish I was there honey. I'm sick as a dog I'm coughing up blood!! O, btw (by the way) I never stop thinking about you. Every night after my workout I start writing you letters but never have time to finish them :'( O and I'mma (I'm gonna) "do something strange" (That's what the drill instructors say when we fuck up lol) to the people that hit on you hehe. O and yes I'm still a squad leader (it's awesome I never get in trouble lol) and yes we're not allwoed (allowed) to smoke down here but I'm doing fine without. Baby right now I miss everything about you. I miss you so much baby. Sometimes I cry at night wishing I was by your side :'( God I keep counting the days 'till I see you. I hope this letter will cheer you up :) O, don't worry about the coughing up blood thing. I'm perfectly healthy I swear. Love and miss you so much babe. I know you would never hurt me as I would never hurt you. I trust you 110% baby... do you trust me? Well I'm going to tell you what happens here on a daily basis lol

• Wake up at 4 a.m., we have 300 sec (seconds) to get dressed.
• The put our gear on and march to chow (breakfast). Come back go to the head (bathroom) then start our mornin' clean up (making racks, moppin').
• Then we go to p.t. for an hour and a half 3 miles, push ups, sit ups, squats, pull ups, climing (climbing) 30 ft rope and sprint to the canteen so much fun lmao. Then come "home" get a shower get dressed again. God you would love it down here the scenery is almost as beautiful as you ;). Then go to class for two hours, drill more, and go to dinner, and come home relax for an hour and write to my love <3

BTW: Thinkin' 'bout you the whole time can't keep my mind off of you. Well 7 more Sundays 'till I see you love you so much. MORE pictures!!! Plssss (pleaseeee) lol
xoxo,
Zac

Letter #12: This was in response to questions that I sent to him in my letter. If I remember all of them, I'll put them in parentheses before his answers :)
Oct 17
1. (Do you remember the night we met?) At Seth's house (I remember that night so well hehe).
2. (What pet name is your favorite to call me?) Baby girl - because your (you're) like my baby girl and I will always protect you no matter what the cost.
3. (If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?) Beautiful would be the perfect word to describe you. Your (You're) beautiful from the outside in baby.
4. (What was your first impression of me?) My first impression of you was that you were a very sexy, stuck up cheerleader.
5. (Has that impression stayed the same?) Your (You're) still sexy and still my cheerleader so kinda, but I've found so much more to love about you baby.
6. (I don't remember the question...) Well I'm just goin' to quote one of my fave (favorite) songs. "Well girl I can't buy you a big diamond ring. No house on a hill full of life's finer things, and I'll tell you right now there's a whole lot that I just can't do, awe but baby don't think I can't love you." Anything you need baby :)
7. (What song reminds you the most of me?) Many songs remind me of you but my fav (favorite) one is Lemonade - Passion. You are my sunshine in the rain, my Tylenol when I'm in pain, yeah, your (you're) exactly what I need.
8. (Where do you want our honeymoon to be?) Somewhere in the Cribbiean (<-- Don't care about spelling) (since I care about spelling, Caribbean), on our own private island, just you and I for 2 weeks baby. God that would be heaven (anywhere with you would make that place better).
9. (What is one thing you dislike about me?) Baby right now there is nothing I dislike baby I miss you so much :'(
10. (What are some reasons you love me?) The list of why I love you... well, I don't have enough paper for that so I just wanna say that I will do anything for you baby.
Anyway happy 11 months baby!!! God I wish I was there. The pictures really help, O!!! Holy crap! I forgot to tell you I won the prettiest girlfriend contest yayy I have the hottest girlfriend hehe well I just got done with an 8 mile hike out to the rifle range. I'll be out here for two weeks, so I don't know what the mail situation will be like :X God I miss you have you gotten my other letters? xoxo <3Mrs. Jackson<3
Love ya sexy,
Zac

Letter #13: In the second half of his letter, at the end, I think he intentionally lead me to believe that he was going to propose to me after he graduated... trickster... ;) I love the ring he got me, though. He bought us matching Marine Corps rings that look like class rings but better :)
Oct 20, 2010
Hey sexy,
Got your letter from the 15th, and I really do wanna talk about your mom :'( it makes me sad to hear your (you're) sad baby. But I'm doin' ok I got promoted to guide. Instead of leading 20 recruits I lead the whole platoon lol. If I make it to graduation as guide I get promoted to Pvt. (Private) 1st Class!!! Which means more money toward our apartment :D (hope that makes you smile... 'cause it makes me happy) O and by the way I'm still the same old me baby and all I think about is you I get yelled at for day dremin' 'bout you hehe. I miss "everything" 'bout you sexy. Your smile, your laugh, your pouty face, don't take this the wrong way but I miss you crying on my shoulder.
Oct 22, 2010
Baby I can barely take it anymore, ever night I lay down, hold a picture of you and cry myself to sleep. But your (you're) the one that keeps me going (your letters) yeah it's hell down here, but every night at mail call every time I hear my name called my heart skips a beat... but "We're shooting this week all I want you to think about is slow and steady squeeze." says the DI (drill instructor). But baby that's not gonna happen I keep a picture of you on me at all times (in my left breast pocket (over my heart <3)). My love for you will never change baby, that I swear. BTW your ring size is 5.5 right? ;)
Sun Oct 24, 2010
Well, just got your letter from the 19th lol missing you as graduation gets closer. I dreamt of you last night don't remember all of it but we were walking on a beach at sunset you had a white sundress on, it was just me and you, no there were two kids (don't know if they were ours) but that's all I remember, your beautiful self on the beach wind blowin' through your hair... God I miss you but back to your letter. Do you do anything else but work! lol... in every letter you've sent you've worked lmao (it better not be that way when I get home lol (I know it won't)) o and now you can tell people your baby's a guide and he's shit hot lmao (ingore (ignore) that last part lmao) I have no doubts about us either baby. And if people want to run there (their) mouth let 'em. 'Cause I have nothing but love and trust in my heart for you babe. Just so you know boot camp is changein' (changing) the way I think... in a marine enviorment (environment). I'm still tellin' people "right meow"and "I lik-a-da cha cha (<-- quote from Bruce Almighty) haha I still put my finger on my nose when I mess up (when the DI isn't looking lol) I'm still the same Zac Jackson I was when I left and will be when I hold you in my arms Dec 2. But to answer your question on my appearance my 6 pack is now an 8 pack my arms and chest are slowly gettin' larger, my skin is really tan lol my eyes are getting darker and my voice is shot so def. (definitely) save those songs on your phone because I don't know if I'll be able to sing again :'(
-- There was another letter wrapped inside a blank piece of paper that said "Read This Last the letter inside"... I'm not sure what the hell I said that his brother was saying to me to get him to think he was talking to me about having sex...
Still Sunday 24th
We had our PFT (Physical Fitness Test) Sat. I did great! It consists of a timed 3 mile run (18 min is perfect) I did it in 2130 :/ that's ok I guess I could have pushed harder lol. Nest pull ups (20 being perfect) I got 18 sooo close but the sit ups (100 being perfect) I got 125 in 2 min boo yah! lmao. Whe I got tired during I just thought of you right there beside me babe. Anyway also got your letter from the 12th (I don't know why my letters are so far behind) but thank you for tryin' with Nick but that's not your job,I'll straighten him up lol O and I think he means us having sex lmao I'm so glad softball is going well I miss watching you play :( Seth says hi? ok lol I can't believe he thinks he still has the right to talk to you. Anyways tell Timmy not thongs in boot camp lol O and fuck that noise that everyone else is talkin' baby I know you're not doing anything so that's all that matters. I love the quotes they made me cry and then smile. God baby the days seem to be getting longer and longer I just can't wait to be settled down and you be out of college so you can live with me on base for a year and then I'll get out and we'll move back home closer to our family and I don't care if we live in Pittsburgh or not anywhere is fine as long as I have you. Well baby I'm gonna look at some pictures and cry and smile xoxo sweetheart
PS Just in case my next letter doesn't make it on time HAPPY 1 YEAR BABY and many more <3 xoxo I love you <3 Send Pics of us kissing I <3 U so much xoxo I miss you <3
^Just saying, that's probably one of the most adorable things EVER.

Letter #14: This was the letter in response to my ex-boyfriend getting back in touch with me after I heard that he and his girlfriend had broken up... needless to say, he didn't particularly like the fact that he thought he could just walk back into my life just because Zac was gone.
Hey Baby AKA (Mrs. Jackson) xoxo<3<3<3<3<3<3xoxo,
I miss you too baby... it hurts 1 more month is too long, 1 more day is too long i'm glad you've been hanging out with my fam. God I miss them so much too... do you know the main reason I came down here? A. I've always wanted this + B. To show my dad that I can do something right (as said on the card, check out the date lol) But anyways Matthew really carved that? God that made me cry lol it makes me feel better that he looks up to me, it really helps... O I almost forgot, if that mother fucker isn't gone by the time I get back Imma do somethin' strange to his bitch ass that fuckin' pissed me off i'm so... fuckin' ahh! I'm goin' to use that for PT tomorrow lol God do I miss you. I had a sex dream last night. I woke up with a super hard on lmao sorry your days have been so shitty hopefully my letters cheer you up like yours do to me <3
Love,
Zac
P.S. Show the card to my dad pls and I have 3 stamps left :'( Please send stamps lol (and small envelopes)

Letter #15:
Saturday 31
Hey Mrs. Jackson <3,
Well just got your letter from the 25th I see Linda took you pillaging lmao how was that? Now to respond to your letter

• Why would you wear new heels to work silly I would have given you a nice long foot rub as I will when we get to our hotel ;)
• Why is Linda stressing? Is it the money situation I'm sending money soon. (O my Senior Drill Instructor said you can send protein bars just not candy and stuff like that so please send some everyone else has them lol hee)
• I don't really show-off, but I kinda try sometimes lmao
• I'm sorry you got scared when the power went out I wish I was there to hold you :'(

Well baby I'm out of time but from now on I'll write you a letter every day... The Sonnet was sweet it made me think of how special of a love we share... I cried miss you so much sexy 4 weeks!!
Love,
xoxo
Zac

Letter #16: I think this was my favorite letter of all time, it was four pages long and I read it I don't know how many times over. I got it before I went to work that day and I waited until I went on my break. Oh how that shift flew by :)
Sat Nov 6
Hey Sexy,
Just got your letters from Oct 29, 30- Nov 1 lol The lyrics made me cry :'( But I'm ok now I'm just really missing everyone, especially you baby I miss you the most. My platoon comes last in every thing so I get blamed (Because I'm the leader) for that they make me feel like shit... grr I don't want this anymore I want you and our families and friends that's it. This was my dream, not anymore. Nobody in this Platoon cares about what being a Marine truly means: Honor, Courage, Commitment no one in this Platoon has it... ok sorry went on a rant there, anyway I'm off the range and just finished team/dental week. I had to get a filling :X They numbed my lips, so when I was finished and left I couldn't talk right lmfao everybody thought it was hilarious... I didn't... yes I did lmao. Well it's time to respond to your questions you sexy little thing <3

• When I day dream 'bout you it's usually sexual lmao but then I just picture you sittin' right beside me, holding you tight, by a fire, with our friends havin' a good time (me getting made fun of for not leavin' your side (which I probably won't leave your side)).
• Baby if I had the time to write each and every day I would believe me, I feel bad when I go to bed at night knowin' that you don't have a letter in the mail </3
• I knew it! lmao I knew your ring size was 5.5 lol hehe I hope you like it ;)
• Yes, the kids were. The boy had your eyes and the girl had my eyes lol weird :) no, no sex but a wonderful make-out session lol
• Boot camp has changed the way I think like I'm more mature (not much but more lmao) I'm thinking things through (when I'm not thinking about you) you'll notice a change in my maturity level lol
• Am I going to tear you to shreds? lmfao and you're going to cum when you see me? lmfao x2 hehe
• I hope my voice comes back lol singing is who I am. If you ask anyone "Hey what does Jackson do the most?" "Sing" hehe

I can't believe it's been 1 year since I've been with the most loving, caring, sexy, beautiful from the outside in, woman of my dreams and more baby I want so bad to be there and this is the last anniversary we spend apart (unless I'm overseas but we'll talk about that later) Now on to the Oct 30 letter lol

• I never told you about the Marine Ball we'll talk about it later :)
• How are Casey and Dee-Dee, I hope school is going well for them.
• You don't like trick or treating? lol and who did you see that you didn't want to babe?
• I'm starting to break down from home sickness babe. Just be strong like I know you are baby 25 more days 'till I can hold you in my arms... That is far too long but on to that super steamy (funny) dream. God damn baby, I miss kissing you all over your body and eating you out... mmm I love your pussy lmfao hehe.
• I will always be your Superman Marine baby.

WTF!! What was she thinking (Mama Oberg) doesn't she know it's a secret? NO I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOUR PARENTS YET!!! lmao What else did your mom say? She's not stupid lol oh well another "free time" has come and gone I must finish now my love. Just don't worry about "us" nothing will ever pull me away from you baby I promise... Baby honest to God truth- you are my every thing I've ever wanted and more my mom would have loved you so much... I've been thinking about her a lot lately I love and miss you so much baby
<3Yours <3 truly <3, <3
Zac
P.S. Are we flying back? And yes I can pay you back lol
I Love You The Future Mrs. Jackson <3<3<3<3<3

Letter #17:
The front of the letter says: "Happy B-Day Baby xoxo <3"
Nov 14 2010
Hey Baby,
Just got 2 letters from the 5-8th <3 19 more days baby... 19 days until I see the wonderful woman that was made for me.

• I love the pictures baby <3... kinda makes me sad that I missed Halloween that's my 2nd favorite holiday :X
• So I was right Pittsburgh sucks lol case closed hehe
• I can't believe you made it without a GPS baby! I'm really happy for you <3 (not being sarcastic lol)
• Did you give that card to my dad... tell them to write me back pls i NEED to know how much money to send!!! lol
• That picture with Matthew made me cry... I miss that little shit so much lol
• That whole Preston thing... you do what you believe is right and I'll back you 110% baby... just so you know it's really hard for my pride to crumble and say to my one true love it's ok to help your ex who intended on marrying you :/ but you have my trust until it is broken (don't see that happening <3) well 10 days left until the Crucible. I would write one more letter and stop 'cause it takes about a week to get here and I don't get mail on the Crucible.
• O I will be calling you sometime next week sometime between Thurs-Sunday don't know the exact time just be ready with some other numbers too: Carson, Brady, Pap Jackson (Ask my dad), Tori Smith, Co Dizzle

God baby I love and miss you so much that it hurts... the days seem longer without you can't wait to see your beautiful face. BTW: when you get to Parris Islandand you get to the Parking lot (They give you a map don't worry) lol stand in front of the Iwo Jima Memorial. xoxo Baby girl
Love,
Zac


There! Those are all of my letters from boot camp from him <3 How sweet is he? He's not like most Marines. He's still got his heart, which is my favorite thing about him.
My favorite person in the whole wide world :)

These are some of the letters I sent to him during boot.

One of the drawings I sent him :)

One of the more sleep-deprived drawings I sent during boot.

My pumpkin I carved with his family while he was away.

The pumpkin I carved with my family while he was away.

Family Day <3

Graduation Day with my honor grad <3 So Proud!

Candy and Pictures and Bomb Threats; Oh My!

Today is the day! Zac finally received his care package, so later today after the post office on base opens, he's going to go pick it up and Skype me when he gets back before he opens it so I can watch! :) I'm so excited for this, it took a week and three days to get there, so I know for future reference, I should err on the side of a two week delivery instead of hoping that it gets there in a week.
In the meantime, while I wait for this later this evening, an update on Pitt's bomb threats. There have probably been over 50 at this point, I stopped counting after there were some on Easter. So they've been sending us all of the ENS text messages and evacuating every threatened building every single time (some of them are in dorms, too, in the middle of the night!!) and they sweep it with police and dogs. They haven't found any sign of any kind of explosives thus far and there is now a $50,000 reward for anyone coming forward with information that leads to an arrest and conviction. Pretty sizable reward. Now, they've restricted access to the buildings. Only Pitt students and faculty with a valid Pitt I.D. can get into the class buildings and dorms through one point of entry and exiting and every I.D. is being checked and, if you're carrying a bag, they search it. So I feel much more comfortable considering they're checking everything now. I really wasn't concerned about an actual bomb being found, what I'm concerned about is that they're monitoring where we're evacuated to and going to take a gun into those places and open fire. Or that they'd just bring in a gun and shoot everyone in one of the threatened buildings while we're being evacuated. Either way, I was more concerned about a gun. Now that they're checking all bags and everything, I have what is probably a false sense of security, but a sense of security at that.
Continuing from there, I just stumbled across a blog on here about the bomb threats and it's analyzing the patterns and everything and it was going through dates of significance. Now, I've already been comparing this to the Virginia Tech shooting from years ago. Their bomb threats didn't go public and they went on for a couple of months and escalated, just like ours are, and then the guy shot up his school. This is my concern. I don't think there are any explosives. I think it's part of the game this person/people is/are playing. Anyways, so in addition to the analyses of information and patterns and speculation, there were these dates of significance listed. Obviously, Easter is a date of significance and nothing horrific happened except a regular slew of bomb threats, but this past weekend was the first one where there were any threats over the weekend. There was an escalation, but no real violence. The next significant date is April 16; the anniversary of the tragedy of Virginia Tech. That part makes me a bit nervous, considering all of the speculation on the similarities between our schools right now. After that is April 20, which is the anniversary of the Columbine shooting and also Hitler's birthday (could be some crazy S.O.B.) and finally, April 22 which is Earth Day. So. That's the speculation of these threats as of late; very interesting. here's the link to the blog if you're interested in reading everything for yourself. I didn't even scratch the surface, here, just some of the stuff that confirms my fears... http://stopthepittbombthreats.blogspot.com/

Update: he received his package! :D That has to be one of the greatest feelings in the whole world right now, I am so excited that he finally got it. For him, it was two days after Easter, but for me it was only one, so that's pretty on target! He had to cut it open with keys because I wrapped it so many times with the packing tape. I didn't want it to pop open! Well, he put on one of the mustaches right away :) And he told me "Holy shit, that's a lot of candy". He went through all of the pictures and told me which vouchers he was going to use first and saw the steak lollipop and tried to hide The Princess Bride so his friends wouldn't find it when they were hanging out with him :) He looked like he was going to cry... I'm just so happy that he liked everything so much! I was worried some of the silly things he'd find dumb because he couldn't really use them, but he liked them. And he put the picture that I had in a frame already for him right next to his bed. All in all, I think (hope) I made his lonely Easter better. The poor thing was sick as a dog with a stomach virus and was miserable all weekend. I wanted so badly to be able to take care of him... it's really the worst feeling in the world, not being able to take care of my man like I should be able to do.
Another thing we got to talk about was my moving out there. And now that I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for this semester anymore, I can really begin to relax and enjoy my time I have left in Pennsylvania before I go out to California to be with him once he returns from this deployment. I've already started the move out of my apartment so that when it's time for me to get out, all I have left is my mattress and dresser and maybe some end tables, but really the only big things that'll be left will be the former two.
Since my thoughts are not collected enough yet to make good sense in this blog, I'm going to get back to cleaning my room and packing up things I don't need. There are a lot of options I need to sort through right now and he already told me he wanted me to take care of it, so we'll see how my decision comes out. I need to write it all down... until next time, fellow bloggers.

My First April Fool's Joke

Ok, so every year there's an April Fool's Day... we all know that. Usually, there's a small April Fool's joke played on me by my dad every year and that's it. I've never pranked anyone beyond telling my dad there was a spider on his shirt (and he only played along because I was so little).
This year was a little different. Zac Skype called me at about 2:30 in the morning (it was 3:30 in the afternoon for him) and we were having awesome conversation. It was so great to hear from him and everything was really nice. So he started talking about the Korea conflict and how if things kept heating up, he'd end up there. And then he tells me "Oh, and I've been trying to think of how to tell you this all day... but we're going to have to stay until January..." I just about LOST it. He couldn't keep his smile in very long and I knew before I started crying that he punked me, but it sunk in after I already knew and I started crying.
So about a month ago, I was talking to some of my friends that also have men in the military and we were talking about pulling out the "fake pregnancy" prank on April Fool's Day. I told them I could never because in boot camp, when I wrote him a letter telling him I WASN'T pregnant, he misread it and threw up. So I didn't want to fake him out and make him sick or anything, so I said I'd never do it. Well, I changed my mind after he pranked me.
So I had to wait until later, he was going to Skype me after he got off of work, which was about 6 or 7 pm my time. I set him up by sending him a Facebook message:

hey babe… so i was a little worried all this month about maybe being pregnant. my period was really weird last month and so i was waiting for a couple weeks to see if things sorted themselves out. so i took a test this morning (i didn’t want to tell you last night and worry you for nothing that i was going to take a test) and it came out positive… it must’ve been in february, too, because you know how i was self-conscious about my stomach over spring break and everything… i don’t know what to do and I’m so worried because i drank Friday night and while i was out there with you over spring break… but, i mean… i keep thinking about having a baby and i know we wanted to wait, but i’m already in love with it. i just wish you were home to help me through this… what do you think we should do…? call me as soon as you can, please!!! i love you...

(attached photo) almost two months <3

(I'll put the picture down below... and a couple of the others I took that I didn't send to the poor guy. By the way, I had to stick out my belly to get it to look like that :P)
At about 7, he called me. And I asked him "So... did you get my Facebook message?" And he just nodded his head. I asked "What do you think we should do...?" and as he started talking, I screamed out APRIL FOOLS!!!! A smile broke across his face and he covered his face with his hands. I asked him if he still loved me (answered with a nod), if he was mad at me (shook his head), if he was ok (nod), and I asked him why he wouldn't talk to me. His response was that if he talked, he would cry. When I asked him why, I thought of another question and asked him if he'd gotten excited... and he said after the initial shock, he had started to get a little excited... and the truth is, I did a little, too. Anyways, he didn't see the picture when he first read the message, I think he was too frazzled, so when I told him I thought the picture made the prank even better, he went and looked at it. The second he saw it, he just said "You bitch" with a big smile on his face :). I promised I'd never pull this on him again unless I was actually pregnant. I mean, he WAS about to go back to work and tell his SSgt that I was pregnant. And if I'd sent the message any sooner, he would've seen it at work and gone ape shit... lots of key factors :)
I know I don't want children right now or even in the next five years, but maybe someday, I'd like to show my love to my future husband in that way. I don't know, maybe it sounds stupid or weird or it doesn't make sense to you, but it makes sense to me. I love him with all of my heart and I would love to bring a little "us" into the world.

Told him I was about two months along.

I feel I made it convincing.

Best prank ever.

I feel the pictures were the icing on the cake :)

This is the picture I sent to him.