My Husband And I

My husband and I are going through his second deployment at the moment. The first time he was deployed, we were "only engaged", and, I'll admit, it was an interesting time. That first deployment definitely had it's down times. He isn't the greatest at communicating and thinking of calling me whenever he can, which frustrated me. But that was literally the only thing that was wrong with the last deployment. He wasn't in a combat zone and I would sometimes go two weeks without hearing from him when I knew he could have talked to me on the weekends. It killed me and it broke my heart, but, of course, I spoke to him about it.
So the problems with the first deployment were that I was too needy for communication and attention (like I always am) and he would get defensive if I brought it up (or any serious subject, for that matter). It just didn't work well with the distance.
When he finally came home, I had already booked my flight to see him for a couple of weeks after that. We got married on that visit and everything was fabulous! The wedding was very "us" and the whole visit went so well. After that, something just clicked between us. He really took his vows even more seriously than I could have ever imagined. And he has gone above and beyond all of his husbandly duties. Not saying that there haven't been moments where I've wanted to just smack him upside the head, but overall? He's the greatest match for me and I only become more sure of that every day.
Flash forward to present day. I just got off of Skype with him before he had to go into work. And I always ask him to tell me something sweet before he has to hang up. Today, it was especially sweet. He has a fellow Marine who had been having marital problems before the deployment and apparently they have continued into the deployment as well. Zac's been acting as a marriage counselor, per say, for this Marine.
He prefaced with that. It gets better, I promise. In fact, here it comes now! In acting as "marriage counselor" for this guy, it has opened his eyes to how amazing and rare and unusual our marriage is. This deployment, we have had ZERO fights. ZERO. Even when I was moving and stressed out because I didn't have power of attorney and had to pester him constantly for paperwork (and he eventually finally got me a POA so he could stop stressing). Even when I budgeted both of our paychecks and put us both on an allowance and he constantly was going over said allowance. I would bring up those issues and instead of getting defensive like he would have before we married, he was completely mature and rational and we worked as a team. Like it should be done. Do I still get a little sad when I don't hear from him as often as I'd like? Of course. But I have different expectations now. A person never stops growing and changing and evolving.
That's why marriage is so tricky, you know. Not because it's all the same thing, day in and day out, making life boring and predictable. It's because people change. And their interests change. And some people just grow apart as they grow up (which is why most people who marry young don't end up working out. They just grow apart as they grow up). But some lucky people find that one special person at a young age. They get married. The continue to grow up. And as they grow up together, they grow closer together. That is my marriage. Ever since we started dating, we've just improved one another just by being together. I've helped him to mature and think things through more and be a little more cautious with certain things. He has taught me to be a little more spontaneous and to take a few risks in life because we're worth it.
This deployment, Zac has heard four guys talking about divorce. In my dear husband's mind, he can't see why they could possibly want a divorce. Because his (our) experience in marriage has been so phenomenal and so -dare I say?- perfect.

That, my dear readers, is a keeper. I can't wait until he's back in my arms again so we can cuddle and love on each other in person again. He's so romantic while he's away, and I'm hoping I can get him to be this way when he's home. I'm determined. More than halfway through the deployment, finally, which means there are fewer days to count down now than there are that have passed. (Redundant? Yes. Do I care? No.)

Anyway, I hope that my story of the night has brought a little bit of joy or hope to someone out there. Sweet dreams to whoever the hell ever reads this ;)

xoxo,
Gossip Girl

Just kidding, it's me. Roxy. Bye!

Moving Upward and Onward

Update on my interview (if I ever posted about it on here)! I got the promotion! I interviewed for a part-time bra specialist position at Victoria's Secret and I got it and I LOVE IT! It makes me feel good to be recognized for the hard work I do and for the customers that leave happy because I've helped them. Here's a Picture of a review sent in by a customer on our survey!:

And I quote, "The store was very crowded and the store seemed very short staffed. The check out lines were VERY long and the inventory was a bit messy. However, once we found Roxy, she was incredible! She helped fit both myself, 55, and my daughter, 17, and helped us with our individual needs. Roxy is professional, energetic, and knows the product lines very well. Whatever you are paying her is not enough! You should definitely use her to train other associates. She is by far the best employee I have run into at any VS store." And there are also two other mentions of my name on this same report. :D

I'm surprised, now that i think about it, that they all spelled my name right! *applause*
Next, Zac's DET is coming up soon and the wives have lots planned for us while the guys are gone. A girls' night/wine tasting, Jane Wayne day, and gearing up for the Dining Out we're having before their deployment, since they won't be home for the ball. It's formal wear, so I either need to find another dress or wear the one I've already worn... we shall see. I kind of wish it was cocktail attire like we originally thought so I could get a dress I'd be able to wear more often than once a year or less.
So pretty much right now is time for trying to spend as much time as possible with Zac before the long separation and getting myself ready for a lot of lonely nights with my doggie <3
List of things I'll be doing by myself while he's gone:
Giving the dog baths (he HATES them)
Taking him outside to go potty
Taking him on long walks
Taking him to the doggie parks
Breaking up any doggie fight he gets in
Taking out the trash and recycling
Doing the dishes
Cleaning the house (which, let's face it, will be much easier to keep up with when it's just my things)
Possibly moving to a different apartment
Driving myself to work (but not having to drive him in before the crack of dawn if I need the car)
Grocery shopping by myself (and carrying all of the groceries up the steps by myself)

What's really going to bother me when he's gone is seeing the empty toothbrush holder. Seeing in the medicine cabinet his deodorant stick or razor he doesn't use anymore but still holds on to. Having the whole bed to myself all night every night. Not getting to pick him up from work. Missing out on dates. Not getting to hangout with him and our friends. Watching him play with the dog in ways that I will never be able to. Seeing his face light up every time he sees a panda anywhere. Being sarcastic assholes behind strangers' backs. Late night Taco Bell or In N Out runs.

So here is a list of things that He and I need to do before he goes:
Go to the zoo and/or Sea World.
Go to Lake Tahoe.
Go see Despicable Me 2, The Conjuring, and Monster's University.
Have a really romantic date night and have wonderful, romantic love making by candle light and soft music.
Go out and get wasted and have drunken sexy time.
Make the dog swim.

This list will hopefully be continued before long! Until then, my readers. Bonne nuit!

My Views on the Way I Am With Roommates

Today I was on the phone with Zac and we got to talking about finances. Now here's a little background on our married finances: I have not been involved. He is the type of man that thinks that that is a man's task to take care of the finances and bills and everything. The man's job to be the breadwinner. So I HAVE tried to help him, but he just didn't really make it a priority to talk to me about the financial situation so I let it go. But on the phone tonight we started to talk about it and he told me how stressed out he was about our situation and paying the bills and everything so I finally told him how I feel about it and how I really need to sit down with him and look at all of the numbers so that I can help him out more and help him de-stress a little bit. And then he got on the subject of roommates. He said his original plan included having roommates to help cover the costs. I remember that he mentioned it in passing, but it was never concrete and I really don't want roommates. So now he has offers and is really considering it, so that's another thing we're going to sit down and talk about when he gets home, too.
Now, onto the main reason I'm sitting here typing everything out. I am TERRIBLE living with other people. I hate people more than the average person. I have major OCD and I just don't like having people in the house that I feel like won't live by my rules and do things the way I want them done and exactly when I want them done. I get frustrated when Zac doesn't do the dishes exactly when I ask and then I end up doing them because I know they won't be done that day if I don't. With two extra people, who's to say I won't have to do every single little thing still but x2 with the extra people. And I really don't want to have to worry about other people's feelings with the things I have to say when I'm in my own home. And I really don't need some chick living with me while my husband is deployed and I miss him. I don't need her emotions. At all. I don't like feeling obligated to befriend someone because we're in close proximity. And when I'm not cool with being friends with someone, I don't talk to them. I also like my space. I like that people don't live here. I like that I don't have to cave to the pressures society has instilled in me and converse with people every morning. I like that when I go to bed at night, no one else is making any extra noise to make me stay awake and also when I stay up late I know I'm not keeping anyone else awake. I also want to have sex as loudly as I like. And I don't want parties at my house. Especially unannounced. My husband has finally learned his lesson, but if I had roommates, what if they don't give two shits that I work on weekends? EVERY weekend. and sometimes it's in the morning. I don't want a bunch of loud-ass people that I'm not in the mood to host at my house when I have to work in the morning or even the next afternoon. How can I tell someone that they have to go out if they want to party? Even thought they live here too and they also pay rent? If I agreed to even try the roommate thing, I would only agree to three months. A trial period. And if I love it and don't want them to leave before deployment, then I'd allow it (don't see that happening, but financially I really wish it could). But if I still feel uncomfortable in my own home with other people in it, I'd want them to get out. And I feel like such a bitch saying that! But it's true. It's MY house and I should be able to feel comfortable.
Zac also mentioned that he was tired of living paycheck to paycheck and when I told him that I expected it to be like that for a while, he told me that it HAS been a while. I really don't think he understood that when I expected it to last a while, I meant at least a year. It takes a while to figure out the finances together and neither of us has had to save very often in our lives but now that we're together and have a dog and are both away from home, we need to save a little better so we A. have a little wiggle room for plan tickets and B. have long-term savings. I really hope that we get a chance to talk tomorrow so that I can let things out a little more...

Day 9: Influential People

So I totally forgot about this. But this is Day 9: A list of ten people who have been influential in my life and why.

10: My Grandparents. They have showed me some of life's toughest battles and taught me to take care of myself, but that it's ok to be spoiled sometimes.

9: Mr. Hall. He was one of my high school teachers (for sure my favorite math teacher in high school) and I had him for class while I was going through a really difficult time in my life. He made me see that there's a lot more to life and my self-worth than some stupid boy.

8: Mr. Felder. He was my English teacher in high school. And my favorite teacher of all-time. He taught me how to expand my thinking of every situation. He is probably the smartest man I've ever met in my life and he really inspired me to be all the I can be.

7: Mrs. Mazzei. She was my gifted education teacher. This woman... she was incredible. I could always learn something new from her. She showed me passion in the Holocaust and the history behind it. She challenged me to dig deep in everything I did and she really instilled those values and standards in me from a very young age.

6: The USMC. I know, it's not a person, persay, but ever since I dated the wrong guy in high school, I learned a little bit about it. And then when I started dating my now husband, he had already signed his enlistment contract and I boldly jumped right into this life. It;s taught me to be appreciative and flexible. It's given me a whole new sense of loyalty and leadership and independence. I know it's brought my relationship with my husband, our families, and my friends closer. So I'm thankful for this life I've taken head on.

5: My siblings. They have shaped who I am, for sure. Especially my big sister. They've really matured me. My older siblings because they are so much older than I am and they made me WANT to grow up faster so I wouldn't annoy them anymore and my little brother because I was his big sister and I needed to take on that role.

4: My nieces and nephew (and my puppy). They have truly shown me how to be patient and taught me how to be a kid again. How to play and run for fun. And they've even made me consider having children of my own someday. Key word: consider.

3: My daddy. My dad has made me the athlete and tough girl that I am today. He taught me how to stick up for myself, too. I've always been a tomboy and my theory is that, since my brother was an accident, that he wanted a boy. So he raised me like one. But he also treated me like a princess. And, to him, I am his princess. That's always been his nickname for me and for my birthday, every year, he would buy me a crown. I never appreciated that until I was older and now that I'm too old for princess crowns, I don't get them anymore. I miss him.

2: My mama. My mother is the most intelligent and well-rounded woman I've ever known. My mom really is the best mother in the world. She has the patience and kindness of a saint. She showed me how to be logical and rational but she's also given me the love that only a mother can give. She's always lifted my spirits and told me that "I have the biggest balls she's ever seen". And I miss my mom so very much.

1: My husband. He is the biggest influence on my life, He is the reason I uprooted myself from my hometown and even my home state. He is the reason I've traveled to different parts of the country and he'll be the reason I will someday get to travel overseas. He has taught me how to love so deeply and what it's like to really miss someone. He's shown me a love I've never known. And a respect that, even though I know I've earned it, lifts me up. He's brought out a strength in me I never knew I had. He and I have that fairy-tale kind of love that's worth fighting the distance for. I love you. Thank you for being my right-hand man, best friend, lover, and protector (when I actually need it). When you're gone, I replay all of my favorite moments of us together and they give me strength.

Blog, Blog, Bloggity Blog

So today I went to a squadron wives' function. We all know how I am about making friends and meeting people by now, I'm sure, if you've read the other posts on this blog. Anyways, I was told about it maybe three days ago from another wife and she forwarded the e-mail of all of the information for the get-together. We were to bring a dish with us and we were encouraged to bring other wives from the squadron, children, and DOGS! I got to take my doggie! We all met at the CO's wife's house (CO's house, too, I guess... but we were there for the wives lol) and she has two dogs! One was named Roscoe (a Shar Pei and Hound mix) and the other Dragon (a Catahoula Leopard Dog) and my little Shar Pei/Catahoula Leopard Dog mix had so much fun with them! They were much older and didn't play as much, but he was allowed to run around the house like a mad dog. They wore him out! It broke my heart to see children afraid of him, though... I know he's a big puppy and rambunctious, but just the sight of him had them running away and screaming (which didn't help, he just chased them down and scared them more...). And he's such a sweetie! Just really really REALLY hyper. Anyways, I made my mom's Mississippi caviar and brought chips

-- INTERJECTION: I'm SO excited for the Star Trek movie coming out. Every time I see a commercial for it or an advertisement, I just want to pre-order tickets and see it with all of the crazy-dress-up-Trekkies --

but there were so many awesome things there! (I love food haha). I liked most of the girls there, too. A couple of them weren't really my type of girls BUT I'm not about to not say hello to them when I see them at other functions. I feel weird, though, because I don't know how to get super involved with everything, I feel like I need to get more comfortable before I'd be able to do a lot. I was kind of asked to be chair of the work out club, but I have no idea how I would do that... I think that would be fun to organize some active get-togethers and she said she'd help me out... but I really don't want to feel like I'm not doing the work that she expects because I don't know what I'm doing... maybe I'll ask her about it... we'll see.

I plan on getting involved with YFU out here as an area rep perhaps, since I've hosted god knows how many exchange students, I think I'd be good at it.

In other random news, Riverside lost another former student late last night. To a car accident. It's such a shame that my poor high school and small town community has to deal with TWO teenage deaths in one year. The first one was one of my good friends back in August. Thankfully (in a selfish way), this young man and I were never really close and we never even talked, but I knew him. That's just how small towns are. And it really hits you hard every time another fatal car accident happens, no matter the circumstances, and someone you know is involved. It makes me worry about my parents driving around... and my baby brother driving late at night to get his McDonald's fix (yes, even the smallest of town's have a McDonald's... kids have to have somewhere to go eat when they're partying or after a dance). Like, what if while I'm out here living the life I'm so happy to have and I get a phone call telling me that my little brother died in a car accident? How would I live with that? I can't even imagine how his parents and family are feeling right now (back in reality now)... just like I couldn't imagine how my friend's sister and parents felt when he passed away. That funeral was SO unbearably HARD. And the students that were close with both boys that have now passed... it's just so awful to lose a friend. But two? And within less than a year of the last? And all while you're only in high school or the early years of college?

#RiversideStrong




So It Goes...

It's Been A While... A Looooong While.

Since I've last written, much has happened. I've finally moved out to San Diego to be with my husband. I moved out here on January 25, while he was still in Key West when I got out here. We had another couple staying with us in our spare bedroom (It's a long story. They weren't on the lease or anything, weren't paying (paying us back while he's on deployment). My dear husband didn't lay down any ground rules and it got very frustrating. Thankfully, right before he deployed, the girlfriend decided to go back home and my husband and I finally got to have our home to ourselves for the first time). Since I've been out here, I've been transferred in to another Victoria's Secret out here. They're a $6-8 million store and I'm just now finally getting the hang of everything. I'm hoping to get the part-time bra specialist position they have open. If I don't, I'm really going to have to consider a second job. I don't want to and I'd really rather wait until the fall if I do decide to do it. I moved here to get hubby-wifey time and if I were to pick up another job, I'd never get that. Especially with the long hours they have him working (it truly is ridiculous and they're really not allowed to do it. If someone were to file a complaint, they'd be in a shit ton of trouble).
Anyways. So work is going pretty well. We also adopted a dog. His name is Caesar and he is a brown doggie with black spots. He's a Shar Pei/Catahoula Leopard dog mix and his little squishy face is so sweet! I love him so very much! He's not the protector we were looking for (we really wanted a Pitbull in the worst way but our apartment complex changed their "no breed restrictions" to having 6 breeds on the list since we've moved in), but he's the sweetest cuddle bug in the world and the most loving dog I've ever seen. He loves EVERYBODY. For real, he just thinks everyone should love him. I'll have pictures at the bottom of the post.
So I think that's everything for now regarding this post, I think I'm going to put another subject in another post right after this so for now, I will leave you with some pictures we've taken since being out here. They tell the story a lot better :)

First picture of Zac and I in our home <3

My darling best friend <3

Ducks at Miramar Lake!

So this is at the adoption place. Caesar has the blue collar and his sister, Octavia, is on the red leash. It was a really difficult decision but we had wanted to get a boy originally, so we went with Caesar!

Zac's holding on to Caesar :)

This little guy is the best. Even though he's thrown us into financial turmoil, he's my little buddy and I love him.

Playing with his new elephant after my friend sent a car package of doggie toys :)

The transformation of a Pittsburgh girl into a Cali girl (still have only Pittsburgh in my heart, though)

My big sister came to visit me! and While she waas here (and her hubby!) we went to the zoo! :)

This is the landscaping around my apartment complex. It's beautiful!

The end of my road and where my complex is :)

Each apartment has it's own private balcony!

Me under what I would describe as a really long trellis at Balboa Park. I love Balboa Park. Also, fun fact, that was the day I decided I really was ready to get a dog. We decided after we were sitting on a ledge watching the dogs play at the dog park :)

Zac and I underneath the big long trellis :) 

This is so cool. These people had these birds at the park and let us hold them and talk to them! They were so cool :)

My baby, sleeping on the floor. He's so stinking CUTE!

Selfie and I don't care! My hair was getting so long before I got my health trim and layers! now my hair does a lot more of what I want it to. But this is me in my work garb :)

My birthday/Christmas/Valentine's day gift :) <3 He heard me mention it once and wanted me to have the set :)

One of our date nights, this is right after we went to Red Lobster and he asked on the way home "Do you wanna go through the car wash?" My second time in a real live car wash :D

This was in mid-March. ;) Need I say more?

Caesar baby sleeping and running in his sleep haha

My two favorite boys :)

75 and sunny in gorgeous San Diego. This is early April and I was poolside already :)

My New Beginning As A Misses

So sorry I am just now updating my life. I'm pretty bad at this blogging thing. But anyways, I went out to San Diego to visit my man October 6-14. It was the most amazing trip I've ever had with him :) We went golfing, got MARRIED, went out to a fancy dinner, went to the movies, and the beach. Basically, it was a wonderful trip. His friends treat me like I'm one of the guys. Zac came to bed mostly on time every night ;) I think it'll just be easier if I post the pictures and explain them from there because there is just so much <3

me and my girl, owens, who stood up for me at my and zac's wedding. #chocolatevanillaswirl lol i love her! oh and this was taken outside of an in n out burger joint :) sooo good.

don't mind the handcuffs, we were borrowing owens' car going to the courthouse to get our marriage license. this is a picture of base, though :)

me and zac on a golf cart :P

i just really like this picture, his smile is so perfect.

from left: van, me, zac, and porter :) #drunkgolfing some of my favorite boys :)

ahh there were crayfish in the water hazards on the course, so zac caught them for me so i could hold them :)

big guy!!

mwahaha i love this picture :)

sunburn from being outside all day... in october. ahh, san diego, i love you.

i was helping his drunk ass back to the barracks room. he took my camera. and said  "serious faces." this is the end product :)

my love <3

steelers plane! i forget what kind it is, but this is on an aircraft carrier that civilians can tour :)

love my man <3

zac and his favorite plane :)

had to have this picture!

back of the aircraft carrier; SO COOL! 

being the bride! and freaking out!

loved my paparazzi friend ;)

getting married; FINALLY!!

love this man <3

porter: "roxy and zac have prepared their own vows to each other; zac, read your vows to roxy."
zac: "shit..."
me: "oh my god what??"
zac: "they're in my phone..."
me: "where is your phone?"
zac: "over there"
*two marines sprint off and get his phone
porter:"...roxy, while we're waiting, read your vows to zac."
LOL

reading my vows <3

such a sweetie :)

friends! :)

"best man"

"maid of honor" :)

looking for his vows...

he kills me, but they were the most beautiful words he's ever said to me <3

satisfied bride :)

exchange of rings

lots of love in this gesture <3

with this ring, i thee wed! :)

"finally, get over here!" ;)

ahhh he makes me laugh at the most inappropriate times!

mr. and mrs. <3

our friends and witnesses <3

my favorite minister ;)

i photo bombed ;)

my love!!

mwah <3

just look up, no camera to worry about :P

kisses <3

my favoriteeee picture!

bahaha

promoted to wifey!

party party party

beautiful la jolla beach <3

minister porter ;) with his bib!

not even his toasted face, either... love him

i adore this picture of us <3

pre-wedding hair <3 :)

cheesecake factory!

cheesecake factory shenanigans! <3 just like lady and the tramp :)

first date night as hubby and wifey <3

la jolla beach <3

so beautiful in san diego!