Day 3: My Folks

The relationship with my parents can get a bit complicated. We'll start with my dad first, since this one is the worst of the two. My dad is very overweight. Like, morbidly obese. And if he continues at the rate he's going, he's going to die within the year. So it makes it difficult when A. he is so uncomfortable/in pain that he is absolutely miserable and B. when he ISN'T miserably taking things out on everyone else, I'm angry with him. And not because he's being mean or anything, but because every step he takes, I can hear him wheezing. Or every time I see him eat something, I am disgusted. Anytime I try to bring it up, he yells at me. It's a difficult line to dance, especially when you're only 20 and you're not supposed to have to worry about your dad dying just yet. I know I shouldn't be angry with him, but every time I look at him, all I can think about is that he is everything that he taught me not to be growing up and it makes me sick and I think he's pathetic. I love my dad, and I don't want to lose him, but his problem is all in his head, which is putting it into the physical, and he needs to face his problems and get it together before it's too late to watch me start my own family and play with my children someday. It's very upsetting to me and I don't know whether it's best to try to enjoy the time I have left with him, since nothing we do gets through to him, or if, since I have every right to be angry, to remain angry with him for the rest of his life unless he gets his shit together... I just don't know if it's worth the effort of trying to fight being angry if I'm not worth the effort of staying alive. Anyways, my dad really had been my athletic inspiration all of my life. He's the athletic one out of my parents and he taught me how to throw a softball and a football and how to swing a bat. I will one day be able to do the same for my children because of him.
Now, with my mom, I know too much about her past. But in spite of all of that, she is still one of the most amazing women I know and I love her to death. I can confide a lot of things in my mom and we see things the same way, for the most part. She's taught me a lot about how to be a strong and independent woman and how to strive for my goals. She inspires me a lot. She's witty and she's strong and, even though she's never been in my specific situation, she's been through tougher times. She works hard and she doesn't back down. She can be a firecracker, but knows when to hold her tongue and she has a patience with me (and all of her children and students and, hell, anyone around her) that surmounts anything I've ever seen. She's taught me how to be a professional woman and how to be a good wife and mother (someday) and I will take all of the lessons she indirectly taught me with me forever.